Question:
You don’t like overbearing people. You’re unhappy with your physique You’re unhappy with your penis size. You don’t like ‘popular’ music You don’t find sitcoms funny. You don’t like sports. You’re stoic in public. Your driving sucks. You have a poor relationship with your father. Sounds pretty normal to me.
Response:
>A) I don’t feel good about my physical appearance
So fix what you can fix and don’t worry about the rest. For the right women, a man’s appearance matters less. If she’s after a bad boy, you probably don’t want to get invovled with her anyway. >B) I don’t see myself as the type of guy that most women want (loud, >outgoing, fearless jock)
I think the real things most women want are confidence and resources. Loud, outgoing, fearless, etc. projects an image of confidence. That’s what they’re after. If you can find other ways to demonstrate that, it would have the same effect. >C) My father didn’t like me, my mother treated me like a baby so I have no >idea how to feel good about myself alone in the world.
I had an inept stepfather and a drill seargent mother. >D) The "fun" as defined by young women is so EXTROVERTED and >show-off that >it frightens the hell out of me (clubbing, dancing, beer-keg >parties)…can’t they ever like anything quiet that doesn’t have to be >done in public?
Find things that you like to do that aren’t at home. If you’re an intelectual, figure out what subjects interest you and find ways to experience them that don’t involve the internet or the discovery channel. Visit museums. Travel. Get out of the house. Even if it’s alone. Or better yet, find a friend that likes the same things and do them together. Two guys will have more confidence together than appart. It also looks like you’re not a loser. >E) "Bitch Shields", can’t deal with it, if I see one of those it says to >me "Ugly boy, stay away from her because she’s not interested"
Hand it right back to them. If a girl does this, you probably don’t want to be around her anyway. So what have you got to lose? There’s a good chance that they’re just in a bad mood. On the other hand, it may really be a bitch shield. I would go so far as to compliment a girl using the bitch shield, then use her response against her. If you try to compliment her, and she responds in a mean way, she’s fair game. You can take a nasty shot at her and feel justified. You’ll get a chance to vent. And maybe she’ll be nicer the next time. Don’t tolerate it. >F) Conservation with women, I have NO IDEA what they like besides >(clubbing, dancing, beer-keg parties) refer to E…whenever I see guys >talking about something intellectual the women sit there like they want to >claw his eyes out because they are so BORED TO DEATH..
So ask her what her interests are. Either you’ll have something in common or you won’t. Either she’ll interest you or she won’t. If you don’t like what she brings up, talk about the things you like. If she interested, a conversation should happen all by itself. If not, move on. Do you really want to be with a girl who’s only interests are keggers and reality tv? >G) The music scene..I think Gray Loser mentioned this in one of his posts >about how he doesn’t follow any of the current music scene so it is >causing him to experience even more alienation from normal people.
I don’t either and I’m 35. Rarely, there will be a new song I like. But mostly, I listen to what I liked when I was younger. If music comes up, simply mention that you don’t like the stuff that’s playing on the radio now. You can look like a social rebel or something. Then talk about the music you like. Either you’ll have something in common or you won’t. >H) Pro Sports (I don’t watch any and I don’t play any)..I’ve thought about >pretending to play tennis just to impress girls but what if they actually >saw me play? When I took Tennis in college my legs were shaking so much >could barely run toward the ball…
I hate televised sports and I’m not shy about telling people that. Usually I say something about liking to watch the highlights with all the exciting stuff, but I just don’t have the patience to sit through an entire game just to see the five minutes of excitement. I also bring up a famous play I saw when I was 10 with California State where they had something like 11 laterals, then the guy tackled the tuba player in the end zone. Older people always remember this and laugh about it. >I) I have no dating past, I’ll become this massive liar like Rainier and >invent all of these girls who I was engaged to and other crap like that..
You can say that you’ve dated a lot, but nothing was really serious. That way, you have some experience, but there’s no long drawn out history you’ll be forced to elaborate on. If she asks why there were no long relationships, just complain lightly about how much the dating scene sucks and say something about not wanting to waste your time with relationships that aren’t going anywhere. You have to make it look like it was your decision to be alone, not that no one wanted you. >J) Fear of showing emotions in front of people (don’t want them to think >I’m a nice guy, do I?)
It depends on the emotion. Women say they want sensitive guys, but they really wan’t men who feel emotion (so that the man will love them), but are in control of their emotions (so they won’t jump into bed with other women or shatter the illusion of confidence). >K) People wanting me to take stances on issues I don’t care about.
So don’t. They’ll either agree or they won’t. For most social situations, I simply agree with everyone. I see their side of the situation, and nod in agreement. On the inside, I know how I really feel about it. But the vast majority of the time, it’s not worth a fight. Once you know someone well, you can tell them how you really feel, but you still have to respect their opinions if they’re different. >L) I hate sitcoms (stop the damn laugh track already, those jokes just >aren’t that good!!)
Again, don’t watch them. And say that you don’t watch them. It’s ok to have an opinion that’s different from other people, just be confident in your opinion. There are women who will agree with you. >M) I don’t care anything about food (which restaurants do I like? >NONE!!!!!!!)
That’s ok also. There are a lot of people who can eat anything. I’m sort of opinionated here, but others aren’t. That just means that you’re flexible when choosing where to eat for dinner. >N) My mother buys all of my clothes, I don’t even go shopping alone.
Fix this. You need to develop your own sense of style, who you are. I’m not sure how old you are, but you need to be independant of your mother. When I was 19, i realized that I had been programmed to confess to my mother anything that I had done that was questionable. I woke up one day and realized that I had been telling my mother about how I had been staying up late at night with my girlfriend instead of studying. Once I saw this, I immediately stopped telling her anything. I have no idea how it happened, but that was the relationship we had. >O) I have no interest in travel, I always suffer a total existentialist >crisis in a different city and Hotel rooms make me feel suicidal
Does anything interest you at all? Go to places that have things that interest you. I don’t like hotel rooms either, so I try to stay out as long as I can. >P) I’m not a good driver, I would hate to ride with anyone else because >they would see how horrible I drive
Why not sign up for one of those sport driving/racing schools? You’ll learn a lot more about cars and how they behave, and probably have a good time at it. >Q) I have no friends >R) I’m afraid to eat pussy, what if it makes me throwup? >S) My penis isn’t thick enough..NO GIRTH!!!
You’re entering troll territory here. :-) Are you seriously worried about this? brian
Response:
>Why does that make him gay?
What he said reminded me of what a gay friend used to say. His posts about female genitalia always have this element of disgust to them. >I’m not & I would never do it.
Why? >Anyway, I don’t think oral sex of either kind was >widespread (so to speak) in the English-speaking >world until the last few decades.
I doubt that. Maybe people are just more open about that kind of thing now.
Response:
In news:1126215846.073606.51840@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com, brianlann…@gmail.com <brianlann…@gmail.com> wrote : > > 10. I am, deep down, an angry and frustrated person, and women do > > not like dealing with these emotional ‘issues’. > This is something you can control. It’s also probably a big part of > your problem. Remember people skills rule #1 – people like to be > around people who make them feel good. If you walk around with a > black cloud over your head, no one will want to be around you.
"Life is not about what you deserve. Life is about what you take". F. Mackey, Magnolia.
Response:
i should elaborate, a northern suburb of los angeles. but now i live in chicago. brian
Response:
brianlann…@gmail.com wrote: > i should elaborate, a northern suburb of los angeles. but now i live > in chicago.
Okay. You’re not him. I can relax again.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -MrWigglesworth wrote: > A lot of these things you’ve listed seem to be caused by shyness, rather > than the other way around. > >A) I don’t feel good about my physical appearance > Well you can change that, to an extent. You can work out, change your > clothing etc. You claim to be an expert on male beauty, after all. > >B) I don’t see myself as the type of guy that > >most women want (loud, outgoing, fearless jock) > Well maybe "most women" aren’t right for you. > >C) My father didn’t like me, my mother treated me > >like a baby so I have no idea how to feel good > >about myself alone in the world. > Try not to blame everything on your parents. You are a 32 year old man, > after all. > >D) The "fun" as defined by young women is so > >EXTROVERTED and show-off that it frightens the > >hell out of me (clubbing, dancing, beer-keg > >parties)…can’t they ever like anything quiet > >that doesn’t have to be done in public? > I think you’re exaggerating. Maybe One Tree Hill and the OC aren’t > exactly the best sources of information about women? > >E) "Bitch Shields", can’t deal with it, if I see > >one of those it says to me "Ugly boy, stay away > >from her because she’s not interested" > AFAICT, you just use the "Bitch Shield" as an excuse. Most of the time > you diagnose a woman with a case of "Bitch Shield" before you’ve even > spoken to her. That’s a cop out. > >F) Conservation with women, I have NO IDEA what > >they like besides (clubbing, dancing, beer-keg > >parties) refer to E…whenever I see guys > >talking about something intellectual the women > >sit there like they want to claw his eyes out > >because they are so BORED TO DEATH.. > Define "intellectual". I think women tend to prefer topics with more a > personal, social aspect to them, but they aren’t complete aliens. Read > the newspaper every day. Keep abreast of world events. That should give > you plenty to talk about. > >G) The music scene..I think Gray Loser mentioned > >this in one of his posts about how he doesn’t > >follow any of the current music scene so it is > >causing him to experience even more alienation > >from normal people. > Does it really matter? I know plenty of guys whose musical tastes haven’t > progressed since Pink Floyd or the Rolling Stones, and no-one seems to > care. I loathe scenesters with their "my band is more obscure than your > band" pissing contests. > >H) Pro Sports (I don’t watch any and I don’t play > >any)..I’ve thought about pretending to play > >tennis just to impress girls but what if they > >actually saw me play? When I took Tennis in > >college my legs were shaking so much I could > >barely run toward the ball… > I have never followed any sports. Most women couldn’t care less. Makes > it harder to talk with guys, though. > >I) I have no dating past, I’ll become this > >massive liar like Rainier and invent all of these > >girls who I was engaged to and other crap like > >that.. > Do you really want to end up like Rainier? Seriously involved with a > woman you hate because you don’t think you deserve any better. Spinning a > web of lies that gets tighter and tighter, like a noose around your neck. > That’s no way to live. > Tell her the truth. I don’t mean blurt out "I’m a virgin!" on your first > date. Just don’t lie about it if the subject comes up. If she can’t > handle it, she’s not right for you. > >J) Fear of showing emotions in front of people > >(don’t want them to think I’m a nice guy, do I?) > I don’t do this either. I have to be pretty comfortable with someone > before I can tell them how I feel. > >K) People wanting me to take stances on issues I > >don’t care about. > What issues would those be? > >L) I hate sitcoms (stop the damn laugh track > >already, those jokes just aren’t that good!!) > So? Most people with two brain cells to rub together hate sitcoms. > >M) I don’t care anything about food (which > >restaurants do I like? NONE!!!!!!!) > Why don’t you like restaurants? Is it because you don’t like eating in > public? > I love good food and I love eating out. I don’t like the really high > class places, though. The way the waiters hover and fawn all over you… > makes me feel uncomfortable. > >N) My mother buys all of my clothes, I don’t even > >go shopping alone. > Maybe you could start training yourself to go to stores and start buying > things for yourself. It would be a great exercise for you, I think. > You’d get to interact with salespeople and learn a bit of independance. > >O) I have no interest in travel, I always suffer >a total existentialist > crisis in a different city >and Hotel rooms make me feel suicidal > An existentialist crisis? Not everyone likes travel, but it sounds like > it your dislike of travel is symptomatic of a larger problem. > >P) I’m not a good driver, I would hate to ride > >with anyone else because they would see how > >horrible I drive > I’m a terrible driver. You should see me parallel park! Unless you’re > reckless I don’t think anyone is going to judge you, except maybe a > driving intructor. > >Q) I have no friends > This is a problem, but it can be fixed. What about all the guys you talk > with in class? You sound pretty close to making friends with them. > >R) I’m afraid to eat pussy, what if it makes me > >throwup? > Are you sure you aren’t gay? I used to know a gay guy (before he came > out) who would say exactly the same thing. Anyway, aren’t you putting the > cart before the horse?
Why does that make him gay? I’m not & I would never do it. Anyway, I don’t think oral sex of either kind was widespread (so to speak) in the English-speaking world until the last few decades. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >S) My penis isn’t thick enough..NO GIRTH!!! > Meh, I’m sure it’s fine. You’re better off focusing on the things you > *can* change. How the hell does this affect your social skills anyway? > Do you whip it out for comparison as soon as you meet someone?
Response:
brianlann…@gmail.com wrote in news:1126204725.936964.205330@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com: > I hate televised sports and I’m not shy about telling people that. > Usually I say something about liking to watch the highlights with all > the exciting stuff, but I just don’t have the patience to sit through > an entire game just to see the five minutes of excitement. I also > bring up a famous play I saw when I was 10 with California State where > they had something like 11 laterals, then the guy tackled the tuba > player in the end zone. Older people always remember this and laugh > about it.
Some poor guy got sousaphowned!
Response:
I think it has to do with how your family socialized with each other when you were growing up. KC
Response:
1. I am short 2. I am fat, somewhat. 3. I am boring and dull, and could not possibly keep a woman interested sexually. 4. My sense of humor often goes unnoticed. 5. I am too smart for women to tolerate; i am a threat to them. 6. I think arranged marriages are a good idea. 7. I am nervous around crowds, therefore, i could not function at parties where women meet. 8. I do not have chiseled facial features like all popular men today have. 9. I do not make enough money to keep a woman interested. 10. I am, deep down, an angry and frustrated person, and women do not like dealing with these emotional ‘issues’. 11. I have no big rippling muscles, and can not seem to develop any, no matter how hard i work at it. 12. I am a loser; enough said. I think that’s enough reasons.
Response:
A Brian Lanning lived in my neighborhood when I was a kid. Where are you from?
Response:
LA brian
Response:
>1. I am short
Unless you’re *really* short, this doesn’t really matter. Just find someone about your height. I’m 6′5". Believe me, it’s not all good. >2. I am fat, somewhat.
I was 300lbs, then I went on a low carb diet. Now i’m about 240. I could lose maybe another 10 or 20. So I guess I still qualify as somewhat fat. >3. I am boring and dull, and could not possibly keep a woman >interested sexually.
This sounds harsh to me. There are a lot of introverted home-body type women. There are also a lot of women with not much of a sex drive. What you really need is a long term relationship where you can talk about these sorts of things easily. This way, you’ll know what to do to keep her interested. If you end up with someone else, still talk about it, but now you can use your experience from previous relationships to figure out what to try. >4. My sense of humor often goes unnoticed.
So don’t be quiet about it. >5. I am too smart for women to tolerate; i am a threat to them.
Some women like this. >6. I think arranged marriages are a good idea.
You may be right on this one. But that’s a different set of problems. >7. I am nervous around crowds, therefore, i could not function at >parties where women meet.
So all women get together in large groups to meet men? This is silly. Why not go to social situations where there are women meeting in small groups. Like support groups, or church groups. Maybe take some night college courses. Of course, if you meet someone you have to act on it or what’s the point? >8. I do not have chiseled facial features like all popular men today >have.
Neither do i. Most don’t. I wish I had a stronger chin. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this, but there are a lot of married ugly people. lol Just look for the right personalty and not the right appearance. >9. I do not make enough money to keep a woman interested.
Again, depends on the woman. >10. I am, deep down, an angry and frustrated person, and women do >not like dealing with these emotional ‘issues’.
This is something you can control. It’s also probably a big part of your problem. Remember people skills rule #1 – people like to be around people who make them feel good. If you walk around with a black cloud over your head, no one will want to be around you. >11. I have no big rippling muscles, and can not seem to develop any, >no matter how hard i work at it.
It’s mostly genetic freaks who can do this. I can’t either. Actually, I don’t know anyone like this. >12. I am a loser; enough said.
Sounds like you’ve given up. I would suggest that you decide that you don’t need woman at all to be happy and get on with your life. Do fun things that interest you. Stay busy. And have realistic expectations. If you do that, relatinoships should happen by accident, so watch for it. brian
Response:
JimSummers wrote: > >"WE" aren’t. YOU are! > Then why are you here? To follow me? GET A LIFE.
Says the 38 year old man who lives with his mother. But look at your own list above. Dude, you’re not shy, you’re totally fucked up! Your mom still buys your clothes? That’s just plain weird (not shy!) And that’s the point. Women are not to blame for you. There’s another whole thing going on. Could it be that your mother takes you everywhere you go, on those rare occasions that you leave that horrid little apartment, because you can no longer be trusted to navigate normal society alone? Stop trying to drag these people down into your stinky little hole. And dude, get some professional help. ZenDog
Response:
"WE" aren’t. YOU are! ZenDog
Response:
>"WE" aren’t. YOU are!
Then why are you here? To follow me? GET A LIFE.
Response:
A lot of these things you’ve listed seem to be caused by shyness, rather than the other way around. >A) I don’t feel good about my physical appearance
Well you can change that, to an extent. You can work out, change your clothing etc. You claim to be an expert on male beauty, after all. >B) I don’t see myself as the type of guy that >most women want (loud, outgoing, fearless jock)
Well maybe "most women" aren’t right for you. >C) My father didn’t like me, my mother treated me >like a baby so I have no idea how to feel good >about myself alone in the world.
Try not to blame everything on your parents. You are a 32 year old man, after all. >D) The "fun" as defined by young women is so >EXTROVERTED and show-off that it frightens the >hell out of me (clubbing, dancing, beer-keg >parties)…can’t they ever like anything quiet >that doesn’t have to be done in public?
I think you’re exaggerating. Maybe One Tree Hill and the OC aren’t exactly the best sources of information about women? >E) "Bitch Shields", can’t deal with it, if I see >one of those it says to me "Ugly boy, stay away >from her because she’s not interested"
AFAICT, you just use the "Bitch Shield" as an excuse. Most of the time you diagnose a woman with a case of "Bitch Shield" before you’ve even spoken to her. That’s a cop out. >F) Conservation with women, I have NO IDEA what >they like besides (clubbing, dancing, beer-keg >parties) refer to E…whenever I see guys >talking about something intellectual the women >sit there like they want to claw his eyes out >because they are so BORED TO DEATH..
Define "intellectual". I think women tend to prefer topics with more a personal, social aspect to them, but they aren’t complete aliens. Read the newspaper every day. Keep abreast of world events. That should give you plenty to talk about. >G) The music scene..I think Gray Loser mentioned >this in one of his posts about how he doesn’t >follow any of the current music scene so it is >causing him to experience even more alienation >from normal people.
Does it really matter? I know plenty of guys whose musical tastes haven’t progressed since Pink Floyd or the Rolling Stones, and no-one seems to care. I loathe scenesters with their "my band is more obscure than your band" pissing contests. >H) Pro Sports (I don’t watch any and I don’t play >any)..I’ve thought about pretending to play >tennis just to impress girls but what if they >actually saw me play? When I took Tennis in >college my legs were shaking so much I could >barely run toward the ball…
I have never followed any sports. Most women couldn’t care less. Makes it harder to talk with guys, though. >I) I have no dating past, I’ll become this >massive liar like Rainier and invent all of these >girls who I was engaged to and other crap like >that..
Do you really want to end up like Rainier? Seriously involved with a woman you hate because you don’t think you deserve any better. Spinning a web of lies that gets tighter and tighter, like a noose around your neck. That’s no way to live. Tell her the truth. I don’t mean blurt out "I’m a virgin!" on your first date. Just don’t lie about it if the subject comes up. If she can’t handle it, she’s not right for you. >J) Fear of showing emotions in front of people >(don’t want them to think I’m a nice guy, do I?)
I don’t do this either. I have to be pretty comfortable with someone before I can tell them how I feel. >K) People wanting me to take stances on issues I >don’t care about.
What issues would those be? >L) I hate sitcoms (stop the damn laugh track >already, those jokes just aren’t that good!!)
So? Most people with two brain cells to rub together hate sitcoms. >M) I don’t care anything about food (which >restaurants do I like? NONE!!!!!!!)
Why don’t you like restaurants? Is it because you don’t like eating in public? I love good food and I love eating out. I don’t like the really high class places, though. The way the waiters hover and fawn all over you… makes me feel uncomfortable. >N) My mother buys all of my clothes, I don’t even >go shopping alone.
Maybe you could start training yourself to go to stores and start buying things for yourself. It would be a great exercise for you, I think. You’d get to interact with salespeople and learn a bit of independance. >O) I have no interest in travel, I always suffer >a total existentialist
crisis in a different city >and Hotel rooms make me feel suicidal An existentialist crisis? Not everyone likes travel, but it sounds like it your dislike of travel is symptomatic of a larger problem. >P) I’m not a good driver, I would hate to ride >with anyone else because they would see how >horrible I drive
I’m a terrible driver. You should see me parallel park! Unless you’re reckless I don’t think anyone is going to judge you, except maybe a driving intructor. >Q) I have no friends
This is a problem, but it can be fixed. What about all the guys you talk with in class? You sound pretty close to making friends with them. >R) I’m afraid to eat pussy, what if it makes me >throwup?
Are you sure you aren’t gay? I used to know a gay guy (before he came out) who would say exactly the same thing. Anyway, aren’t you putting the cart before the horse? >S) My penis isn’t thick enough..NO GIRTH!!!
Meh, I’m sure it’s fine. You’re better off focusing on the things you *can* change. How the hell does this affect your social skills anyway? Do you whip it out for comparison as soon as you meet someone?
Response:
All of us here should create a comprehensive list of the reasons we are shy..you know? That voice in your head which makes you afraid of approaching people for interaction? Maybe if we clearly identified the reasons for our social failure we could understand what the major problems are? I’ll start: A) I don’t feel good about my physical appearance B) I don’t see myself as the type of guy that most women want (loud, outgoing, fearless jock) C) My father didn’t like me, my mother treated me like a baby so I have no idea how to feel good about myself alone in the world. D) The "fun" as defined by young women is so EXTROVERTED and show-off that it frightens the hell out of me (clubbing, dancing, beer-keg parties)…can’t they ever like anything quiet that doesn’t have to be done in public? E) "Bitch Shields", can’t deal with it, if I see one of those it says to me "Ugly boy, stay away from her because she’s not interested" F) Conservation with women, I have NO IDEA what they like besides (clubbing, dancing, beer-keg parties) refer to E…whenever I see guys talking about something intellectual the women sit there like they want to claw his eyes out because they are so BORED TO DEATH.. G) The music scene..I think Gray Loser mentioned this in one of his posts about how he doesn’t follow any of the current music scene so it is causing him to experience even more alienation from normal people. H) Pro Sports (I don’t watch any and I don’t play any)..I’ve thought about pretending to play tennis just to impress girls but what if they actually saw me play? When I took Tennis in college my legs were shaking so much I could barely run toward the ball… I) I have no dating past, I’ll become this massive liar like Rainier and invent all of these girls who I was engaged to and other crap like that.. J) Fear of showing emotions in front of people (don’t want them to think I’m a nice guy, do I?) K) People wanting me to take stances on issues I don’t care about. L) I hate sitcoms (stop the damn laugh track already, those jokes just aren’t that good!!) M) I don’t care anything about food (which restaurants do I like? NONE!!!!!!!) N) My mother buys all of my clothes, I don’t even go shopping alone. O) I have no interest in travel, I always suffer a total existentialist crisis in a different city and Hotel rooms make me feel suicidal P) I’m not a good driver, I would hate to ride with anyone else because they would see how horrible I drive Q) I have no friends R) I’m afraid to eat pussy, what if it makes me throwup? S) My penis isn’t thick enough..NO GIRTH!!!
Response:
Posted in One Tree Hill | 
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Everyone here in ARW is awesome. Im glad to know all of you, and to have a chance to talk to all of you. Oh, and Nevermore, yer cats rock. You’re pretty cool yourownself. 
(I have a cat too yanno) I’m glad you’re here sugar. Awwww, thanks Kate, yer pretty cool, too, Dudesy. (By the way, Dudesy is a feminine term for "Dude", but for the ladies, so yeah) I’ve always been called ‘Dudette’. Dudesy is cute 
All the ladies seem to think so, but only my FAVORITE ladies, which would be everyone that I dig on ehre. Rhy, Kate, Tuesday, Blu, etc. WHERE IS TUESDAY? Maybe we’ll see her on television. Someone else needs to watch UPN, because I don’t watch that network. 
) 